You Might Be Addicted To AOL If...

  • Tech Support calls You for help.
  • Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
  • You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
  • Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome
  • You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer
  • you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
  • you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away
  • you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (hehehe)
  • you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete sentences...
  • you have met over 100 AOLers
  • you begin to say hehehe instead of laughing
  • you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep
  • you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again
  • you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
  • you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
  • your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
  • you marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your won computers and chat to each other every night from across the room
  • you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
  • you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
  • your dog leaves you
  • you have to ask what year it is
  • you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists
  • you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the puter
  • you have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours
  • you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
  • you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling
  • your buddy list has over 100 people on it
  • you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee
  • you have your puter set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen
  • you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work
  • you don't know where the time has gone
  • you end sentances with three(or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
  • your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had
  • you get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your puter
  • when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***
  • you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
  • you type faster than you think
  • you got your psychiatrist addicted on AOL too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office
  • you want to be burried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa
  • you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted
  • you dream in text
  • being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
  • you double click your tv remote
  • you can now type over 70 wpm
  • you think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies
  • you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail
  • you go into withdrawls during dinner
  • you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
  • you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers
  • you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
  • your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
  • you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on"
  • you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their s/n
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