The Excedrin Penis: It's thhhhiiiiiisssss big.

The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.

The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.

The Life Call Penis: Its fallen and it can't get up.

The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.

The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?

The M & M Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

The Lucky Charms Penis: It's magically delicious.

The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going...

The Right Gaurd Penis: Anything less is uncivilized.

The Campbells Soup Penis: Mmm mmm good.

The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother aproved.

The McDonald's Penis: Over 8 billion served.

The Tombstone Penis: What would you like on your penis?

The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.

The Cobain Penis: It blows itself away.

The All-State Penis: You're in good hands.

The 7-Up Penis: The UN-penis.

The Barq's Penis: The one with bite.

The Beef Penis: It's what's for dinner.

The Bud Lite Penis: Great Taste, Less Filling.

The Transformers Penis: It's more than meets the eye.

The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.

The Sega Penis: PENIS!

The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.

The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin' and keeps on...

The Burger King Penis: Have it your way, right away.

The Flinstones Vitamins Penis: 10 million strong and growing.

The Wendy's Penis: Where's the beef?

The Lay's Penis: Betcha can't eat just one.

The Little Ceaser's Penis: Penis!! Penis!!

The Mortal Kombat Penis: Nothing can prepare you.

The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.

The Street Fighter II Penis: Matt, stop, you're getting too good.

The Domino's Pizza Penis: Deliver's in 30 min or less.

The Rice Krispies Penis: What does your penis say to you?

The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra extra long time.

The Charmin Penis: Dont squeeze the penis!

The Beatles Penis: Now a quarter smaller than it used to be.

The Oasis Penis: Thinks it's the Beatles penis.

The Windows '95 Penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.

The Virginia Slims Penis: You've come a long way, baby.

The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.

The Micro Machine Penis: A whole world, in the palm of your hand.

The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop.

The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts!

The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walkin'.

The Reeses Penis: How do you eat your penis?

The Beavis Penis: Look! it's changing color!