Certificate of Upgrade to Complete Asshole
Awarded to____________________________________In recognition of your
obnoxious attitude, ability to piss people off, complete asinine
juvenile behavior and total dedication to personal gain without regard
to the many hardships you have forced upon friends, family and others
during your lifetime, you have become a legend in your own mind.
To recognize your upgrade from half-assed to complete asshole, gives
all concerned great satisfaction. If anyone, for any reason, doubts
your status.
JUST BE YOURSELF......!!!!!
Effective as of this_____day of_________________2000
Per:____________________________
Authorized Signature