Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: What's the difference between beer nuts and deer
nuts?
A: Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.
Q: What three two-letter words denote "small"?
A: "Is it in?"
Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off you when you die.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q: What do call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
A: Your Honor.
Q: Moms have Mother's Day, fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys
have?
A: Palm Sunday
Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace will do that to you.
Q: What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman
A: Sexual harassment.
Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man
A: $3.99 a minute.
Q: What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies
A: A bingo machine.
Q. Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?
A. Its for Dickheads.
Q. Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
A. Because when he tried to make a second one he made a boo-boo.
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A. The lawyer charges more.
Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A. When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde, unsuccessful vampire hunter?
A: She tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop through
it's heart, because steaks were too expensive.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
A: That's where you clean vegetables.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduce herself.
Q: What happened when the blonde got locked in the car?
A: Her blonde boyfriend had to use a clothes hanger to get her out.
Q: What do you call a group of blondes in the freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
Q: What is the difference between an intelligent blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot's been sighted.
Q: Why do blondes trim their skirts with fur?
A: To keep their necks warm.
Q: Why does it take 5 brunettes to change a light bulb?
A: To help out the blonde that's been trying for weeks.
Q: What do Jimmy Hoffa and Linda Tripp have in common?
A: Nothing... yet.
Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A. Dough nuts.
Q: What's the difference between a BONUS and a PENIS?
A: Your wife will blow your bonus.
Q: Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A: They have shaky hands!
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