Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

You know how most packages say "Open here"...
What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?

Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes?
Wouldn't it be easier to just hire taller dancers?

Why do scientists call it "re"search when looking for something new?

When a bee regurgitates to make honey, does it get sick at it's stomach?

Why is it that you drive on a parkway, and park on a driveway?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Why is it called a building when it is already built?

Why are they called "trunks" when they are vertical, and "logs" when they are horizontal?

How can you say "The same difference" when, if they have the same differences, then they must be the same - not different?

Do you ever wonder if flowers sniff us back?

Why does a dog hate for you to blow in its face, but when its in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Why do shipments go by car and cargo goes by ship?

Why is it called Greenland if it's all ice?
Why is it called Iceland if it's all green?

Why do we call it a TV set, when there is only one?

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.
No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

The average secretary's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.

All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula".
And can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.

The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life".

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence Oz".

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.

John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

Money doesn't bring you happiness,
but it enables you to look for it in more places.

Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong,
but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

Misers aren't much fun to live with,
but they make great ancestors.

Be careful what rut you choose.
You may be in it the rest of your life.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

When you see the handwriting on the wall,
you can bet you're in a public restroom.

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

The real reason you can't take it with you is that it goes before you do.

Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Sunday with a television on the blink.

The world is full of willing people:
some willing to work and some willing to let them.

Money isn't everything....
there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

Some people are like blisters.
They don't show up until the work is done.

A true friend is one that lets his grass grow as tall as his neighbor's.

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

If you don't know where you're going,
you're never lost.

Experience is a wonderful thing.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs?
Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?
It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist,
but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I Do." is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?