My Favorite Things To Do
Here's a list of my favorite things to do.....
well, there's sex, you can have sex, sexual
intercourse, a quickie, consummate a marriage, couple,
copulate, coddle, or commit the act of procreation.
You could be making whoopee, making love, love making,
scrogging, slapping skin, or sweating to the oldies.
You could sleep with someone, sleep together, sleep
around, fool around, whore around, screw around, or
just screw, shag, shank, score, fornicate, fork, pork,
pump, poke, plank, pound, boff bonk, bop, bone bang,
or boink. you could be dancing between the sheets,
doing the horizontal bop, the horizontal mambo, the
prone boogie, or even the hunka-chunka. You could be
humping, bumping, humping and bumping, bumping uglies,
the ol' bump and grind, or making the two backed
beast. You could play doctor, hide the salami, hide
the sausage, because dammit, it's the most fun you can
have with your clothes off. You could break in a new
mattress, or give the old one a workout. You could be
squeaking the springs, annoying the neighbors, or
making a big mistake. You could get them in the sack,
get little action, get a little nookie, get a piece of
tail, get a piece of ass, get it on, get some, get
frisky, get lucky, get laid, get all hot and sticky,
or just get it wet, and, i'm not making this up, get a
little sticky steak up in this bitch. You could be
mounted, mounting, rutting, breeding, starting a
family, pulling the train, slamming the stack. Two for
me, none for you. Not going anywhere for a while? You
could turn a trick, or take pity on the poor bastard
and give it away. Happy hammering, hammer, nail, sow
your wild oats, lose your virginity, or induce
pregnancy the old fashioned way. Take a roll in the
hay, a trip to the tunnel of love, or a trip to
paradise if you're taking the scenic route. Hit a home
run, hit the twizzer, knock boots, tap that ass,
shoplift the pootie, plunder the booty, count the
ceiling tiles, ruin a friendship, or close the scroat.
Do the wild thing, do it, doing it, doing the nasty,
the nasty, the old in-out in-out, dip the wick, dip
the stick (or if you're with a moron you could stick
the dip). Wet the noodle, check the oil, check the
temperature, give her the pork sword injection, or the
hot beef injection, depending on your religion. Or
perhaps even commit assault with a vein laden meat
pipe (that's my favorite) You could give in, give it
up, go for it, go for the gold, go for the gusto, go
for broke, or even go all the way, after all, it is
the fastest way to the top. You could engage in a
fluid transfer, relieve some tension, relieve some
pressure, or experience a hormonal episode. it's a
labor of love, hanky panky, and as a friend of mine
once said "the noblest of all causes" or....you could
just FUCK