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Curly's Daily Jokes
07/24/11I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
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Why did they fire Ronald MacDonald?
They caught him giving Wendy a Whopper at Burger King!
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"I ain't ready to get married," Sam Rush told his buddy, Joe.
"But, when I do, I want a gal who's an economist in the kitchen, a sweet lady when we've got company and a fireball in the bedroom."
"Well, time passed and Sam did get married. One day he again ran into Joe.
"How's life with you, Sam?" Joe asked.
"Fine and dandy, Joe. I done got myself hitched."
"Great! And is she just like the gal you described to me?"
"Not exactly. I sure enough did get all the qualities in my wife that I wanted.
But they came a little bit mixed. Jenny's a fireball in the kitchen, a sweet lady when we got company,
but she's an economist in the bedroom.
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A guy goes into the doctor's office.
There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you're not eating right"
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What's the definition of a computer nerd?
A man who knows 4,560 ways to have sex, but doesn't know any girls.
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be, that one of us is Chinese.
It's either my mom or my dad, my older brother Colin, me or my youngest brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
I think it's Colin.
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Three addicts went into a favorite back alley to shoot up.
The first one sterilized his needle, swabbed it with alcohol, and shot up.
Then he passed it to the next fellow, who swabbed the needle with alcohol, and shot up.
Then he passed it on the third addict, who stuck the needle right into his arm.
"Are you crazy, man?" screamed the first two. "Haven't you heard of AIDs? You could get sick, man, you could die!"
"Don't be ridiculous," said the third guy in a lofty tone.
"I'm wearing a condom."
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The bar was getting ready to close, so he asked the nearest woman:
What would you say to a little "oral" activity?
"That all depends,..."
she quickly responded.
.Your face, or mine?"
====================================================================== John is out in the country with his new bride.
They watch as a bull comes over the rise and bangs six cows in a row, one after the other.
His wife says, "It's a shame a man can't perform like that."
He says, "We could, if we got to change cows every time." ======================================================================
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TREAT YOURSELF OR YOUR PARTNER TO A NEW TOY AND HAVE FUN
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Curly's Daily Pics!
SNATCH OF THE DAY
DAILY DING DONG
PIC OF THE DAY
OBJECT OF THE DAY
TODAY'S BABE
TODAY'S BIKINI
HOT PINK
BIKER BABE
CATCH OF THE DAY
TODAY'S BUTT SLUT
ORAL REPORT
BOOBIES OR BUTTS
TODAY'S EXHIBITIONIST
15 MINUTES OF FAME
DAILY TATTOO
SEXUAL POTPOURRI
TODAY'S GOLDEN OLDIE
TOPLESS BABE
TODAY'S MONEY SHOT
TODAY'S STUD
MRS CURLY'S PIC
TODAY'S HUNK
EVERYDAYFUN PIC
HUMPHOUNDS PIC
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Blonde Moments!
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.
"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly.
Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others.
I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love.
I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.
"There must be something you would have of me," said God.
"Well, there is one thing," she said.
"Just name it," said God.
"It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me.
I would like for blonde jokes to stop."
"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere.
But surely there is something that I could do just for you."
"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.
"Name it. Please," said God.
"It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel..."
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Why do polish dogs have flat noses?
Because they chase parked cars.
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Curly's Classic Joke Of The Day!
Things that make you go. Hmmm.....
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is in whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Do Lipton tea employees take coffee breaks?
How much deeper would the oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
No one ever says, "It's only a game", when their team is winning.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
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