Curly's Daily Jokes

09/06/08


A guy was cleaning a septic tank and accidently fell ln.
He couldn't swim so he just went through the movements!
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SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck,
hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society
about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.
Men are so easy.
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A young couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked,
"Are they relatives of yours?"
"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."
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The young Swedish au pair had been working for the Schmitt's for more than a year.
While hardworking and efficient, she still struggled with English.
One day, she told Mrs. Schmitt that she had received good news from her boyfriend Sven.
"He is coming to visit me from army next week!"
"That's wonderful," the woman replied. "How long is his furlough?"
"Oh," the young woman said, blushing, "About as long as Mr. Schmitt's. Just a little thicker."
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A Prayer for the Stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I cannot accept,
And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they pissed me off.
And help me be careful of the toes I step on today
As they may be attached to the ass I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday and
5% on Fridays.

Help me to remember...
When I'm having a really bad day & it seems that people are trying to piss me off,
that it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me!
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Advice from an Old-Timer on Growing Older
1. never trust a fart
2. never pass a urinal
3. if its hard, use it
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A man walked into a bar and ordered a 12-year-old scotch.
As the bartender was busy, he decided to serve the guy whatever he had under his hand.
The fellow took a sip, spat it out, and told the bartender,
"I asked for a 12-year-old scotch, not a three-year-old one."
When the bartender heard that, he checked the bottle and was amazed that the fellow was right
he had served him a three-year-old scotch.
The bartender wanted to see how good the fellow was,
so he served him another scotch, this time a six-year-old one.
The guy had a sip and spat it out, complaining,
"I asked for a 12-year-old scotch, not a six-year-old one."
The bartender was surprised by how good this fellow was.
So the barman decided to play one more little game.
He served the customer a nine-year-old scotch instead of a 12-year-old one, as requested.
The fellow had a sip and spat it out, stating,
"I think I asked for a 12-year-old scotch, not a nine-year-old one."
The bartender was very impressed and finally served him the demanded 12-year-old scotch.
The customer took a sip and added, "This is what I asked for in the first place."
At the end of the counter sat a man who had witnessed this scene.
He sent a tumbler to the scotch expert and asked him to take a sip.
The fellow did so, spat it out and said, "Good Lord, that's piss!"
The other man added, "Now tell me how old I am."
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Curly's Daily Pics!

SNATCH OF THE DAY
DAILY DING DONG
PIC OF THE DAY
OBJECT OF THE DAY
TODAY'S BABE
TODAY'S BIKINI
HOT PINK
BIKER BABE
CATCH OF THE DAY
TODAY'S BUTT SLUT
ORAL REPORT
BOOBIES OR BUTTS
TODAY'S EXHIBITIONIST
15 MINUTES OF FAME
DAILY TATTOO
SEXUAL POTPOURRI
TODAY'S GOLDEN OLDIE
TOPLESS BABE
TODAY'S MONEY SHOT
TODAY'S STUD
MRS CURLY'S PIC
TODAY'S HUNK
EVERYDAYFUN PIC
HUMPHOUNDS PIC
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Blonde Moments!

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang
but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The son-of-a-bitch called back."
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Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
They have shaky hands!

What is the area between the vagina and the anus called?
A chin rest.
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Curly's Classic Joke Of The Day!

One day a boy asks his dad, "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"
Dad thought for a minute and said, "Come with me."
He took his son to his mother's bedroom, where she was sleeping nude.
"Son," he whispered, "see that brown soft furry patch? That is a pussy."
The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and furry it is?"
"No!" replied his father. "That might wakeup the cunt."


SURFER'S CORNER
09/06/08

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