At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats.

Your face is very pale due to lack of blood.

When you walk into a sauna, everyone stands and applauds.

They begin to call you "the tripod."

You begin to think your mother in law is pretty.

Sunbathing nude outside standing: Birds perch on it.

Sunbathing nude outside lying down: You look like a sundial.

Everyone at the bank, grocery, etc... lets you go to the front of the line.

Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar.

You always lose limbo contests.

Lewinsky wants you to be president someday.

You can make drawings in the sand without having to find a stick.

You like to sleep on your back, and had to remove the ceiling fan.