1) You're 6'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

2) Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo

3) You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro

4) Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

5) You consider dunking a pack of "S" cookies in milk a nutritious breakfast.

6) Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

7) You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 dance clubs.

8) Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just do me" tank top to Wasaga.

9) At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

10) All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

11) A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

12) You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

13) If someone in your family grows beyond 5 ft 6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

14) There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

15) You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

16) At some point in your life, you were a D.J.

17) 30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

18) You are offended when the wedding you attend serves less than 3 fish courses despite the fact that you normally eat dandelions 6 nights a week.