He is not a BAD DANCER -
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME -
He investigates
ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING -
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER -
He prefers GENERATIONALLY
DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -
He becomes
ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS -
He develops a case
of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a SEX MACHINE -
He is ROMANTICALLY
AUTOMATED.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG -
He has SWINE
EMPATHY.
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES -
He has an
INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENT.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT -
He is MONOGAMOUSLY
CHALLENGED.
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