Date: April 7th 2010

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CurlyDavid Jokes - http://www.curlydavid.com
<a href="http://www.curlydavid.com">CurlyDavid Jokes</a>

This is an adult Joke mailing list,with MOSTLY ADULT MATERIAL .
This is meant for the 18+ audience.
And it is not meant to offend any one!!

Remember I don't write the jokes I just pass them around so we all can
have a few LAUGHS!! If you thought it was a different type of mailing
list or if you are easily offended by my jokes, then please unsubscribe!!
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The mailer will go out 3 times a week!
THE JOKES ARE UPDATED EVERYDAY ON MY SITE!

Just a reminder if you missed a mailer or any updates then go directly
to my site and GET EVERYTHING THERE!!!
ALL NEW EVERYDAY!
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<a href="http://www.curlydavid.com/joke.html">THE DAILY JOKE PAGE</a>


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Why is marriage is like a violin?
After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.
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An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical
examination whereupon the doctor said "You are in fine shape for your
age.. but tell me.. do you still have intercourse?"

"Just a minute .. I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She went
out to the reception room and said:

"Jake do we still have intercourse?"

Jake answered impatiently........"If I told you once I told you a
thousand times... We have blue cross !!"
======================================================================
Kevin , the blonde, said "I'm breaking up with Sherry!" ,
to his friend James .
" Are you crazy ? Sherry is a beautiful and smart woman!", said James.
Kevin responded..."Last night Sherry broke down and told me she was
bisexual, and who the hell wants to screw just twice a year ???"
======================================================================
Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
Under the vacuum cleaner.
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A woman went to a doctor claiming she had three vaginas!! The doctor
examined her and sure enough, she DID have three vaginas. He`d never
seen such a thing in all his years of medical practice. He told her
"I`ll stitch up two of them, but leave the middle one alone."
"Will that make me normal again?" she asked. "Of course." he said,
"This way, you won`t be screwed left, right and center!"
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The teacher once asked the class to make a sentence with the phrase
pistol too.
Little Jimmy raised his hand, and after being recognized, said
"The lone Ranger tamed the wild west with his faithful indian companion
and his pistol too".
Very good says the teacher.
Little Johnnie raised his hand, and after being called on said
"Down at our house we make homebrew, drink till twelve and piss till two".
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What's the difference between a blonde and a pot head?
A pothead stops being too stupid by not inhaling.
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Around lunchtime Sheryl left school and headed for home, crying because
her first period had started and she had no idea what it was.
The girl's teacher was reluctant to get involved, so she suggested
Sheryl talk to her mom.
She was walking home when she ran into little Johnny.
"Why are you crying? Asked little Johnny.
"I'm crying because I'm bleeding," she replied.
"Give me a look," said little Johnny.
She lifted her skirt and showed him.
"Fuc*in' hell!" said little Johnny. "No wonder you're bleeding some
bastard's cut off your cock!"
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A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to
take a swing at a ball to see how she'd do.

The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot.

The pro said "Your swing is good but you're gripping the club too
hard grip the club gently as you would your husband's penis.".

The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards
straight down the fairway.

The pro said "That was excellent!! Let's try it again, only this
time take the club out of your mouth."
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If you want to get your "15 Minutes Of Fame" send in a pic of yourself
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No pics of children this is an adult site!

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please put in the subject line "15 min of fame"

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Curly's Object Of The Day!
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Surfer's Corner!

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Up View
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Up View
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Up View
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Blonde Moments!

A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and
went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked in
the mail box again. She did this several times and her neighbor that was
watching her said, "You must be expecting a very important letter today
the way you keep looking into your mail box"...
The blonde answered "No", I am working on my computer and it keeps
telling me that I've got mail."
======================================================================
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
AND,
the Number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN
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Curly's Classic Joke Of the Day!

The foreman at the lumberyard needed a replacement for an employee who
just quit; and while he wasn't eager to hire the blind man (because of
the obvious risks involved), the blind man begged for the chance.
"You'll see," he said. "Just put me in front of a pile of lumber. I
sniff the lumber and know what type it is -- I will stack it
accordingly."

So the foreman agreed to give it a shot. Positioning the blind man in
front of a stack of wood, he asked what type it was. Ahhhhhhhhhh..."
said the blind man, taking a deep breath. "Pine, twelve-foot," and
stacked it in place.

The foreman was surprised and repeated the test with oak and redwood,
fir and mahogany, but the blind man didn't miss once. Then, getting a
sly look on his face, the foreman called up to the office secretary.
"There's a blind man applying for a job and I don't want to hire him.
He says he can tell what kind of wood we have just by sniffing it. I
want to confuse him.. come back here, take off all your clothes and lay on
top of that pile of wood."

The secretary stripped naked and draped herself across the wood.
Sniffing furiously, the blind man then looked puzzled. "Gee, I don't
believe I've ever smelled wood like that before... let me take another
sniff."

He went closer and sniffed the wood again. "DAMN, I have no idea what
that is... can you turn it over?" The secretary turned over. The blind
man went near the pile of wood and took another deep sniff.

"Well?" the foreman asked. "What kind of wood is THAT?"

"Hmmm..." said the blind man, "I'm not sure, but near as I can tell,
it's the shit house door off a tuna boat."
======================================================================
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Amateur Screw
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Remember - I don't write 'em ! And don't be offended, they're just JOKES!
Well that's all folks, keep on laughing!
Hope you all have a great day.
If you have any comments, jokes or suggestions please feel free to
email me at curlydavid@yahoo.com.
Please pass the word on to all of your friends to join CurlyDavid's
mailing list, where you get free jokes and more!.
To send in jokes curlydavid@yahoo.com
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