50 degrees - Miami residents turn on the heat. Californians shiver uncontrollably,
45 degrees - Vermont residents go to outdoor concert. Californians weep pitiably.
40 degrees - You can see your breath, Californians disappear, Wisconsins go swimming.
35 degrees - Italians cars don't start.
32 degrees - Water freezes.
30 degrees - You plan your vacation in Australia.
25 degrees - Ohio water freezes, Wisconsins eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.
20 degrees - Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, New York City water freezes, Miami residents plan vacation farther south.
15 degrees - French cars don't start, cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 degrees - You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 degrees - British cars don't start.
0 degrees - Alaskans put on T-shirts, American cars don't start.
-10 degrees - German cars don't start, eyes freeze shut when you step outside.
-15 degrees - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansasians stick tongue on metal objects, Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 degrees - Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, politicians actually do something about the homeless, Wisconsins shovel snow off roof, Japanese cars don't start.
-25 degrees - Too cold to think, you need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 degrees - You plan a two week hot bath, Swedish cars don't start.
-40 degrees -Wisconsins button top button, Canadians put on sweater, your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50 degrees - Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 degrees - Polar bears move South, Green Bay Packer (and Buffalo Bills) fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90 degrees - Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
-100 degrees- Hell freezes over and Democrats finally admit Clinton is a liar.
| Curly David's Happy Hour |
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