you regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.

you have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands "JOLT" and "COLA"

your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.

you go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.

your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.

you've ever used the airplane's Call button just to get a coffee refill.

you've ever knelt and prayed before a Starbuck's logo.

your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.

you can't remember the last time you blinked.

you have on more than one occasion snorted instant coffee.

you think decaffeinated is a crime against nature.

you have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent.

you have dark brown colored hair but you are a natural blonde and have never dyed it.

the dishes in your house are all coffee cups.

your dog's name is Folgers.

you see nothing wrong with using water joe (the caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.

you believe that sleep is simply a poor substitute for sleep.

it's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.

you have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.

you'd rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning. (Caffeine withdrawal is a real headache.)

you've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine.

you've given up sex, TV, and all forms of meat for Lent before, but STILL can't make it 40 days without caffeine.

you could live in a desert like a hermit, eating bugs for food, as long as you had enough coffee beans with you.

you suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.

you dip espresso beans.